I want to be a nurse

I finally submitted NursingCAS today! Even though I have at least 8 more applications to complete, it's a huge relief. About last week, I was...I don't want to say second guessing myself...but was considering other alternatives. Since I've returned from Belize, I try not to be affected by what my family thinks of me that much anymore. Let's face it, I'm going to be considered the black sheep on my father's side of the family for the majority, if not for the rest, of my life. I've learned to accept the fact because I much rather endure the pain and suffering of accomplishing my dream than go the route they want me to take. Anyways, I started looking up PA schools again. I considered becoming a physician assistant during a quarter of my junior year in college, but quickly pushed away the idea when I learned the extraordinary amount of clinical experience others have undertaken to be accepted in PA school. After my trip and looking over my resume, I think the clinical experiences that I've had is pretty great, so I considered applying. If I got accepted this round to PA school, it'll definately be a faster route to a more stable job. A faster route to go start on my second passion, art, again. I'm still wishy washy about it, but I doubt I'll apply. My long term goal is to become a NP, but I want get my RN degree first. I want experience by the bedside before jumping into an advance nursing role. Of course, my father's side of the family express their doubt that I'll be able to jump back into school after working. That's one of the reasons why they don't want me to become a nurse. When I did horribly on my GREs and told them that I didn't want to retake them, I got heavy lectures about how I'm giving up. They think I'll give up on my dream of becoming an NP too. In reality, I don't mind being push around at the bedside for a couple of years to give me thicker skin. If I don't become an NP and learn to love to be a bedside nurse, then that's fine. That's my decision though. It's my life. That's how most arguments I have with my father escalate to; me saying that "it's my life." I know I'll be a great nurse. If I don't have family to give my 100% support at least I have my friends. Plus, I know that if I have the drive and passion to pursue something, I'll stick to it. Here's to this application cycle!

ISL Belize Medical Trip

It's been a little over two weeks since I've gotten back from my medical trip to Belize. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Not only did I learn about Belizian healthcare and culture, but I learned so much about myself. I'm so grateful for everything I have, including the simple things like being able to eat raw vegetables without worrying about potential bacteria, street lights and being able to brush my teeth with faucet water.
I'm not going to write a long post about the trip like I would have in the past. I did start a journal during the beginning of the trip but there wasn't enough time to continue it. The over 400 pictures I've taken suffices though. I'm looking forward to reunions with the team! :D

Decremental

I think studying almost everyday last week is deteriorating my scores. I'm no where near where I want to be though.

Choice

As an adult, I have the power to choose how I live my life. Despite the influence others have on me, who I am, who I want to be and what I am doing right now is ultimately my choice. Growing up, I lived mostly as a hermit; I stayed in the comfort and boredom of my own home. I daydream, rather then do. I think, rather than pursue. Habits are hard to break. I'm breaking them slowly.

Two steps forward, one step back. I'm going to try to take only half a step back next time.