I want to be a nurse

I finally submitted NursingCAS today! Even though I have at least 8 more applications to complete, it's a huge relief. About last week, I was...I don't want to say second guessing myself...but was considering other alternatives. Since I've returned from Belize, I try not to be affected by what my family thinks of me that much anymore. Let's face it, I'm going to be considered the black sheep on my father's side of the family for the majority, if not for the rest, of my life. I've learned to accept the fact because I much rather endure the pain and suffering of accomplishing my dream than go the route they want me to take. Anyways, I started looking up PA schools again. I considered becoming a physician assistant during a quarter of my junior year in college, but quickly pushed away the idea when I learned the extraordinary amount of clinical experience others have undertaken to be accepted in PA school. After my trip and looking over my resume, I think the clinical experiences that I've had is pretty great, so I considered applying. If I got accepted this round to PA school, it'll definately be a faster route to a more stable job. A faster route to go start on my second passion, art, again. I'm still wishy washy about it, but I doubt I'll apply. My long term goal is to become a NP, but I want get my RN degree first. I want experience by the bedside before jumping into an advance nursing role. Of course, my father's side of the family express their doubt that I'll be able to jump back into school after working. That's one of the reasons why they don't want me to become a nurse. When I did horribly on my GREs and told them that I didn't want to retake them, I got heavy lectures about how I'm giving up. They think I'll give up on my dream of becoming an NP too. In reality, I don't mind being push around at the bedside for a couple of years to give me thicker skin. If I don't become an NP and learn to love to be a bedside nurse, then that's fine. That's my decision though. It's my life. That's how most arguments I have with my father escalate to; me saying that "it's my life." I know I'll be a great nurse. If I don't have family to give my 100% support at least I have my friends. Plus, I know that if I have the drive and passion to pursue something, I'll stick to it. Here's to this application cycle!

ISL Belize Medical Trip

It's been a little over two weeks since I've gotten back from my medical trip to Belize. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Not only did I learn about Belizian healthcare and culture, but I learned so much about myself. I'm so grateful for everything I have, including the simple things like being able to eat raw vegetables without worrying about potential bacteria, street lights and being able to brush my teeth with faucet water.
I'm not going to write a long post about the trip like I would have in the past. I did start a journal during the beginning of the trip but there wasn't enough time to continue it. The over 400 pictures I've taken suffices though. I'm looking forward to reunions with the team! :D

Decremental

I think studying almost everyday last week is deteriorating my scores. I'm no where near where I want to be though.

Choice

As an adult, I have the power to choose how I live my life. Despite the influence others have on me, who I am, who I want to be and what I am doing right now is ultimately my choice. Growing up, I lived mostly as a hermit; I stayed in the comfort and boredom of my own home. I daydream, rather then do. I think, rather than pursue. Habits are hard to break. I'm breaking them slowly.

Two steps forward, one step back. I'm going to try to take only half a step back next time.

Where the Smart People At?

lol

Tick tick tick

"Attentive to detail" is listed as a skill on my resume. I'm meticulous over activities I care about, whether it's schoolwork, cleaning or art. It's a strenght and a weakness. It's currently growing to the point where I'm getting sick of my own mind. I overanalyze more than I need to and the mind-aching process fogs my thinking. I know I have the potential of enjoying my life more if I don't stress over so many things. How do I downregulate this personality trait though? Thinking how to stop thinking is still overthinking.

I dislike my attitude. I need to stop portraying the pitiful, pathetic demeanour. I'm in battle with my stress. Why haven't I learned to calm down and refine my overanalytical perspective yet? it's time for a change...

"Accept the things I cannot change, have the courage to change the things I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference."

Free Medical Screenings

Free medical screenings at Calvary Christian Center in Yuba City tomorrow 10:30-3:00! Be thankful for all the veterans and current men and women serving out country! HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!

I don't understand why people do the things they do sometimes...

so busy or barely busy?

I didn't get into the crazy chicken lab, but I'm still planning to graduate in June! It turned out that 40 people were on the waiting list, all of who are graduating seniors concerned that they would have to stay an extra quarter just for the advanced requirement. Due to the large number, the advisor agreed to let us substitute the lab with an extra elective class. I've heard a lot of students enrolled in lab wished they had that option. The lab is rewarding, but extremely demanding. Most of the seniors are preparing for their standardized test (a lot of my friends are taking the MCAT next week...eck), preparing for life after college, on top of school, work, internships, etc. I, along with 39 others, lucked out on the extra stress.
Even though I'm only taking 12 units, this quarter will be busy. I don't know how this thought bypassed my mind, but I need to finish a good draft of my personal statement about a month before the quarter ends. I thought I could write it during the summer while cramming for the TEAs and GRE. No. I need it done in order to ask professors LOR before they go off to who knows where come June. I'm not sure how I'm going to schedule my time because as of now, I'm not juggling studying for my standardized tests and studying for classes very efficantly. I'm aware that I spend hours doing nothing and I have no clue why I waste that time. Senioritis? I'm not allowed to have it.
This blog might be another venue for my procrastination.

Leave the Hardest for Last

If all goes as planned, this upcoming quarter will be my last at UCD. It will be my toughest. Not only because I'm taking all upper div. science courses (one of which is crazy chicken lab), but also because I have to prepare for the TEAs and GREs. I'm horrible at standardized tests; I haven't taken a math class since freshman year and no matter how much I study, my vocab doesn't improve. Not to mention, I'll have to start on apps, rallying up letters of rec, and preparing for my medical mission to South America after graduation.
Graduation....hMM...maybe I'll blog about my thoughts about this later.
Academics isn't the only thing on my mind. It's concerning a certain relationship. I'm disturbed by feeling ackward around this person and I just want a clear make or break. I know that she won't make the move. I've always been the one to give her the chance. I'm not saying that she's always the one to screw it up, but I admit that I act immature at times. I think I have a right to be frustrated at her closed mindedness though. All I want is respect. I can overlook what has happened in the past. I think I've learned that holding grudges gets you nowhere. I just don't know how to bring up this conversation though. If they're like all the others I've had with her, it'll just end up with her making up excuses, me forgiving her, and later reverting back to this odd relationship that we have now. Am I wrong to say that I'm the more mature one initiating this ever time? Or am I just stubborn and still a blind "teenager" that can't see past the greater picture? I don't think I'm making much sense anymore. Anyways, I'm debating whether I should email or talk to her in person. One thing for sure is that I want to confront her before the weekend ends.

When interviewing a patient always remember to ask....

Allergies
Medications

Surgies
History
Immunizations
Travel

If you forget any of these, you are shit to your preceptor.

I love clinic :)

i sort of wasted the weekend by not studying. now, i feel screwed for tuesday's human physiology lab quiz.
on the bright side, i had fun at the clinic party :) the 2 hour commute was worth it!
anyways, i'm ready for hell, i mean...winter quarter.

My Neurobio professor for next quarter posted this on the course webpage.

Rosovsky’s “Standard for undergraduate education”
1. An educated person must be able to think and write clearly and effectively.
2. An educated person should have a critical appreciation of the ways in which we gain
knowledge and understanding of the universe, of society, and of ourselves.
3. An educated American cannot be provincial in the sense of being ignorant of other cultures
and other times.
4. An educated person is expected to have some understanding of, and experience in thinking
about, moral and ethical problems.
5. We should expect an educated individual to have good manners, and high aesthetic and moral
standards.
6. Finally, an educated individual should have achieved depth in some field of knowledge.
From Henry Rosovsky’s Undergraduate education: Defining the issues ,
the 1975-1976 Report of the Dean of Arts and Sciences, Harvard College

He titled the file "An Educated Person," which got me confused b/c it doesn't have much to do w/ the class material.
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edit: AH! the syllabus is 13 pages!!! I've heard of syllabuses that are more than 3 pgs long but I've never had such a class before.

Ungrinched

Can it be?! Am I no longer in a foul "bahumbug" mood?? I think so.

My dad's side of the family doesn't really celebrate the holidays anymore. Or I should say my dad doesn't. My cousins are in Nevada so I'm never there to celebrate with them. This year, one of my cousins on my mom's side invited me to their holiday family gathering. Hopefully, I get to go to that.

Anyways, volunteering at LHH really got me into the spirit of giving. I went on a bus trip with C3 and G3 to Serramonte. Even though it was hectic and sort of disorganized, I still had fun. We left the mall early so the bus driver decided to stop by Twin Peaks. The view made me realized how much I've missed and love SF. There was a surprise holiday lunch/dinner (linner? lunner?) back at the hospital for volunteers. MMMmmm..red velvet cupcakes and eggnog. Just giving back and being recognized for giving time really made my day.

School-wise- I seriously thought I was going to fail a class this quarter. Cell biology was the first class I could not study for. I couldn't stay awake in the class either because I thought what the professor taught was a whole bunch of BS. He didn't even freaking teach anything about the cell!!! He taught us lab techniques!!!! USELESS INFORMATION IF WE NEVER WORK IN A LAB!!! Anyways, turns out I failed the final. When I calculated my grade last week I thought I was going to end up with my first C at Davis. I was so pissed. Turns out he curved or did something to the grades because I have a B on my transcript.
Also, I got the HIGH SCORE on the final for biochem metabolism!!! woot! I haven't set the curve for a UCD class since...since...general chemistry?? Anyways, got an A+ for that class! YAY! So proud!! Somehow I'll doubt I can get a letter of rec from that professor even though I took him for another biochem class during the summer and tutored for him this quarter. Idk. I didn't really have much interaction with him. I mean, he knows my face. He might be a little sketchy on my name. Argh...I need to make more time to talk to my professors. The school year is winding down fast and I'm still not comfortable asking for a professor for a good LOR.

Hmm...went off on tangents. I guess that's what happens when I don't blog for awhile.

GahHHH!! Need to go holiday shopping!!!!!!! I'm not use to procrastination!!!!!
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edit: Nevermind. Holiday songs, shoppers and decorations still annoy the crap out of me, Maybe I was in a good mood yesterday...

Winterbreak Goals:
-Finish buying 21st bday gifts
xFind/buy Secret Santa gift (almost everybody finished shopping on the day of...lol)
xWrite thank you cards+buy gifts
-Study for the TEAs
-Study for the GREs
-Study NPB101
-Finalize Nursing School list

Support the protestors!!!!

this looks so freaky
http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=DC11539

Veteran's Day

To all the individuals who are currently or have served our country: Thank you.

I'm so glad I took a 4 hour study break to go to outreach today. There were a bunch of special guests, including 2 soldiers who've recently returned from Iraq and Afghanistan. The event was touching and definitely memorable. I would write more about it, but I have to get back to studying.

Goal for today: finish philosophy paper.
I'm making this thing harder for myself than it should be. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that makes me extra analytical. Idk, I'm always hard on myself.

Coffee is starting to not be enough. I'm up to 3 cups per day. Before I came into college, my body couldn't even take a cup.