How much bad luck can a person get?

I swear my car is cursed. When my dad first bought it in '99, it always needed to go to the auto shop for various engine problems. I got 2 of my tires and the rims stolen 2 weeks ago. Last night, I got it towed because I didn't have a parking permit at the apartment complex I parked at for not even 30 minutes. I admit that the last one was my fault, but I've part there so many times before and nothing has happened to it. *sigh* $310 down the drain.

I'm sick and tired..and I just want a break from everything.

My dad's taking the car back tomorrow because I don't really need the car. Plus, I don't want to deal with the responsibility of taking care of it anymore.

If anything happens to my bike, I'm seriously going to snap.

Do you have swine flu?

I realized that I swear a lot whenever I feel like shit (ha! see?!). I get really moody when my MG flares up too. So, due to the combination of having a fever (like everybody is saying this week, "No. I did NOT go down to Mexico City."), only getting 3 hours of sleep last night, and my tiredness flaring-up my MG, today was a horrible day to take my microbio exam. My immune system going crazy did not help me learn the immune system for the test in any way other than make me think about Tylenol having a low therapeutic index everytime I took a tablet.

I should catch up on some ZZzzzz's.

I'm getting really homesick.....or childhoodsick. One thing I look forward to is seeing this (Thanks, Katrina)!

Dear Fear, Please go away.

Fear has always been my greatest weakness. When I was 4 or 5 I quit ballet because trying to stretch my limbs to do the splits hurt and I was fearful that what came next would be worse. When I was 7 or 8, I quit Girl Scouts because my local group was canceled and I feared that I wouldn't get along with the a new group. In 4th grade I quit violin because I sucked at it..that has nothing to do with fear...it just goes along with my quiting streak. I quit piano after elementary school...because I didn't want to practice anymore.

Getting back to my fear, I quit a lot of stuff because I get scared and run. Looking back, I think I quit being premed because I feared of failing. I quit physics the first time I enrolled in fear that I would fail my first class (even though it was only the first week of school). Am I quitting prepharm because I fear that I won't get into my desired school? Do I fear not being able to find a job in the long run? Do I fear that I won't have enough time to devote to my life outside of work? Or am I only reconsidering prepharmacy in fear that I won't succeed with nursting? I'm back at the point where I have no clue what I'm doing with my life. I say I have passion in the healthfield, but do I really? Is this passion just another lie for me to go through with it?

I blogged about my suppressed desire yesterday, and it got me thinking...did choose Davis over an art school because I was afraid to be different from what people want me to be? Maybe.

I don't think the path of life ever gets 100% clear. This is especially true if I keep attempting to run and hide.

Let me back track and reanswer..

Prepharmacy?...probably not...I'm convinced that I lied to myself.
Premed?...no. I really should stop asking myself this.
Prenursing? *sigh* I don't know. I love anatomy. I love physiology. I love talking to patients and seeing their progress. Something is holding me back from screaming, "Yes! Yes! I'm want to be a nurse!" Maybe it's because I told myself I wouldn't be a nurse 3 years ago. ..so I have no clue if I'm set with this.
PrePA? I wish this road was a little more direct. Like I've said before, maybe after nursing school..if I choose nursing.

Art? YES! YES! YES! *stuffs the desire back into the lock vault* Someday, someday....it must wait...

Choices...choices...I need to step forward and stop being afraid of that road that seems to be leading to no where....